Did you ever hear the one about the (Punjabi, Muhajir, Pathan, Sindhi, Baluchi, Hyderabadi, Memon, etc.) who was so dumb that....

You can finish the rest of this stupid joke. And stupid it is. Sadly, it is not uncommon to hear this kind of "humor" being shared at Pakistani gatherings. Nor is it uncommon to encounter stereotypes about different groups. These include generalizations about how violent, money hungry or harsh towards women, for example, a given culture supposedly is.

Ethnic humor may be funny on the surface and we may argue that stereotypes are "fact". But these actually carry the seeds of hatred, division and prejudice, which Pakistanis, as a nation of Muslims from various ethnicities, must never tolerate.

We must discourage this kind of behavior. The only way to do that is by taking wise, pro-active steps to counter the intolerance. Here are some ideas of how you can combat prejudice in a concrete way:

1. Observe your own behavior.

Next time you're with friends, be conscious of what kind of humor is being shared. Also note what kinds of comments are made about different ethnic groups. Do you find yourself engaging in ugly prejudice with your friends? You may be doing this just to go along with them, even if you feel badly about it inside. If that's the case you need to commit to free yourself from intolerance.

Also, how do you respond to ethnic jokes and stereotypes made by the older generation of Pakistanis? Do you find yourself just ignoring it instead of politely challenging their notions?

By thinking about and observing your behavior, you will become more conscious of how you may be contributing to the problem of intolerance in the Pakistani community. Don't put yourself down though. You've taken a major step in recognizing that something is wrong. Now you've got to work on the problem.

2. Socialize with people of all ethnic backgrounds

Take a look at your social circle. Does everybody have the same skin color, language and are they all from the same ethnic group (in some places, you may find everyone is even from the same village or district back in Pakistan)?

If that's the case, it's time for you to diversify your social life by associating with Pakistanis of different backgrounds. You may already have some acquaintances of varying ethnicities who you never really paid attention to. This is your opportunity to make a friend and learn about a different culture. Invite the person over, hang out, do the things that you do with your friends of the same background. This will help you let your guard down around those who are not of exactly the same "stock" as you.

3. Read about other cultures.

Ignorance breeds fear, but knowledge breeds familiarity. Don't just meet with other Pakistanis but learn about their culture, language and background as well. More importantly, find out what contribution each ethnic group has made to the country in different fields. Study the history, art, language and heritage of the groups. Look for and focus on the positive not the negative aspects you encounter of every culture. Try to learn a few basic sentences in that language so you can try to communicate with an individual from that group when you meet them. They will probably be pleasantly surprised to meet someone who knows even a little bit about their background.

Also, pay attention to outstanding individuals of all cultures who have helped make Pakistan a better place. They can be politicians, writers, social workers, etc. By identifying people who have done good, you will realize that Pakistan has been built by individuals of all of the country's ethnic groups. No one culture can claim to have a monopoly on benefitting Pakistan.

4. Avoid generalizing from bad experiences

Too often, if we've been swindled, cheated or have had some other tragedy happen to us, we end up generalizaing about the ethnic group of the perpetrator. If for example, a Sindhi cheated you of your money recently, you may have the urge to label all Sindhis crooks.

This is not fair. Nor is it true. You can find honest and dishonest people anywhere. It's not a genetic or cultural characteristic. As difficult as it may be, make the effort to avoid painting people of one ethnic group with the same brush after a negative incident. Maybe you can go out of your way to make friends with the perpetrator's ethnic group so you can dispel such false notions from your mind.

5. When faced with a situation where a person is insulting an entire ethnic group, challenge the stereotype or joke

This is hard and it's especially difficult to do it if the perpetrator is a family member or friend. Start off by simply not laughing at the joke. Maybe you can even ask the question, 'Why is that funny?' That will probably get the message across that you don't approve of the behavior.

On other occaions when you feel gutsier, try to openly confront the offender. You can politely say something like, 'I don't think that's funny', 'I feel offended by that' or 'let's not stoop to that level of prejudice please'. You will of course ruffle feathers and maybe even anger some people. But your courage will hopefully elicit silent support from others who are too afraid to speak out, even if they disagree with the offending comments. In future, offenders may not avoid prejudicial jokes or statements, but they will at least stop doing it in front of you and will probably feel bad about it. This may lead them to give up mocking other ethnic groups in the long run.

5. Defend the abused group in its absence

This is similar to the point above, but it involves taking one step further: speaking positively about the group in question. In response to an offensive statement, point out the positive role the cultural group has had on Pakistan in the field of education, defense, arts, etc. Speak glowingly of a few individuals of this ethnic background and how they have served Pakistan in a loyal and committed manner.

This of course requires knowledge. But if you followed step number three, you've got this information readily available so you can use it as a counter argument to prejudice.

By presenting the postive perspective on the ethnic group being attacked, you will balance out the negative picture presented by the individual making the prejudicial joke or statement. This will make the person and those around him or her think about the ethnic group in a different manner.

6. Speak everyone's language in a gathering

If you're in a gathering of Pakistanis of different ethnic groups, speak the language that everyone understands. Not only is this an Islamic principle, it's also basic good manners. By doing this, no one feels left out and misunderstandings that can cause hurt, anger, suspicion and confusion are avoided. Speaking a common language brings everyone together at the gathering.

7. Help those in need from various ethnic groups

Spend your money for charitable causes in all parts of Pakistan. Give charity to schools in the North Western Frontier Province (NWFP). Support an orphanage in Punjab. Sponsor a family in need in Baluchistan. Send money for a free medical clinic in Sindh.

By spending on others, you inculcate in yourself a feeling of sympathy, concern and care for other Pakistanis, no matter what their heritage. This generosity can help break down the barriers of hatred and intolerance. Encourage your family, friends and local Pakistani-American community to do the same.

9. Intermarry

Yes, this is a big, big step. It's something that was once even taboo. In fact, in a number of Pakistani families, it remains a taboo. But if you really want to smash stereotypes and challenge prejudice, marrying someone from a different ethnic background is a way to not only cement ties, but also show that what matters in a marriage is a person's character, not his or her ethnic background.

If you have children, encourage them to intermarry. Do the same for other relatives and friends. Help them realize that a good life partner can be from anywhere.

Date/Time Last Modified: 6/17/2002 3:47:49 PM

Readers' Comment

sohail Inayatullah: 2/8/2006 4:59:22 AM
Simply a wonderful article. Thanks so much. sohail

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